Looking for your next BSDM hookup? Well, the great news is that there are more ways than ever to meet new BDSM partners to help you get your fill of kinky fun. Only a decade ago, it was really hard to meet likeminded sexual partners, something which was a really frustrating thing for everyone looking for a good hookup. This problem was exacerbated by what has been come to known as the sleaze factor, namely the high percentage of creepy and undesirable people who seem to gravitate to BSDM like bees to a flower.
The advent of the internet really opened things up to give all of us kinky lovers new ways to find BDSM partners. BDSM dating sites, online forum communities, BDSM specific websites, chat groups, and the wealth of other great ways to meet new people, now leave us with more options than we know what to do with. To help you get the best results for the effort you put in, we have a few top tips on how to use BDSM communities to get your next great hookup.
Best option for a hookup: Online Dating Sites
If you want the best chance of getting a BDSM hookup in the quickest time possible, then BDSM dating sites are definitely the best option. Though they are touted as a community, the reality is that these sites are all about getting people together for hookups, and occasionally a more serious relationship too.
Choosing the right dating site can make a big difference to the kinds of people you meet, so we would definitely recommend taking a look at our reviews of the various sites to find the best one for you. Generally, the larger sites offer way more people for you to connect with, but you do need to be aware that the larger sites sometimes have the feel of being a meat market, which really limits the chance of you getting those super-hot people.
Some diehard BDSM hook up artists are reaping plenty of rewards by using regular dating apps such as Tinder to pull out some good quality, often new BDSM hookups from them. The rewards might be huge, but the scale of the effort required to sift through that large amount of people to find ones willing to participate in kinky sex is too overwhelming for most people, who generally don’t bother.
Anyway, check out our reviews on what the pros and cons of each site are before you sign up, particularly if you are looking for specific things like seriously hardcore BDSM.
BDSM social media sites
For those of you who are truly interested in expanding your horizons and getting involved in the real BDSM community, the best option is to get connected with a good BDSM social media site.
Some of my favorite sites include BDSMfriendbook.com, FetLife.com, ALT.com, iTaboo.com, and A kink-friendly. All of them have a really great community feel and are definitely a great way to really interact with the real BDSM community. The fact that you can share your life through pictures, comments and interests will really help you build some genuine relationships while also opening up the chance of getting plenty of really great hookups.
These sites operate as social media for a real community, something that makes it pretty easy to spot the creeps and to block them so that they can’t bother you. I have certainly found the quality of the hookups on these BDSM social media sites is a lot better than off dating’s sites, though obviously, the quantity is not nearly as good.
The old fashioned way: meeting hookups in BDSM friendly bars and clubs
Put on your best clothes and hit the street the way people looking for new hookups used to. The art of chatting someone up in a bar or club is dying fast. This is kind of a shame as it is actually really fun so long as you can overcome the fear of rejection. There are huge advantages of this kind of face to face networking, particularly as it gives you the chance to see them for who they really are, opposed to what they let you see online. Also, when you meet someone and click with them, it is easy to turn this kind of connection into a hookup.
BDSM Gatherings and Parties
Though most people think that gatherings and parties are specific to the swinger community, there are in fact lots of BDSM specific parties that you can go to, provided you get an invite first, obviously. Whether these parties are aimed to be more a social thing or to be a hookup fest, they can be an excellent way to get your next hookup.
The nice thing is that their environment offers complete protection when compared to clubs, where there is always the chance you might hit on someone who is not into BDSM. Unless you know someone who is hosting or has been invited to one of these parties, then your best bet is to hit online social media sites and start networking as much as you can until you find someone who is involved in this side of the BDSM community.
Guides to BDSM communities
There are lots of well-written books that are an enormous help into how to get involved with the BDSM community. Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather, and BDSM Communities by Mollena Williams and Lee Harrington, is arguably one of the best. The book is a step by step look into the world of BDSM and is really informative on both the different parts of BDSM but also with it’s in depth look into the community as a whole. The book is one of the best places to find great news way on how to use the BDSM community to get hookups.