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How to Bring in Fetish Fantasies to Your Relationships?

fetish fantasyIn recent years, the stigma about kink has faded away, and more lovers are becoming interested in finding new ways to enjoy sexual experiences by bringing fetish fantasies into their relationships. Whether you’re into light spanking or something more hard-core, sharing with your partner your secret sexual fantasies can increase the trust and intimacy in your relationship.  However, introducing the topic to your partner can be nerve-wrecking since you don’t know how they will react. But, you never know –your spouse may get excited at the idea of taking pleasure in your desires with you.

So, how do you introduce your fetish fantasies into your relationship without making your partner nervous, and to get across what you are after? The following tips can help you take the edge off such difficult sexual conversations.

  1. Start with hypotheticals

Introducing the topic in a slow, sexy and enticing way, helps to take the pressure off. For instance, you can present your kink as a dream you had, where both of you were acting on the fantasies and see his or her response. Discussing about your fetish fantasies hypothetically eliminates any judgment from the conversation.

  1. Use porn books, movies, videos, forums or blogs

Porn is a comprehensive genre, and great porn contains, a whole range of fascinating kinks and different sexualities. With references such as fetish sites, movies, videos, forums, and blogs, you can find something that helps you introduce your fetish fantasy in a gentle manner instead of showing your spouse a hard-core video that can have him or her slap you, laugh at you or running for the nearest exit. This way, you will gauge your partner’s reaction by asking a question such as “what do think?” The answer will help you in deciding your next step.

  1. Discover what your kinks are

Knowing what turns you on, why and how it arouses you, can get your spouse delighted about trying out something new during your sexual sessions. Also, you should be able to explain it to your partner even when you have blindfolds with both your hands and legs are tied to the bed.

  1. Introduce little bits of fetish into regular sex

Sneaking some aspects of your fantasies in your regular sex cannot kill your spouse’s sex drive— but it doesn’t mean bursting out handcuffs or hot wax without warning. Make sure you don’t get carried away since arousal can naturally lower your inhibitions and loosen you up.

  1. Use sex toys

This can be an exciting way to introduce your fetish dating fantasies. You can start off by browsing online sex toy shops together with your spouse. Once you find an item(s) that fit your fantasies, you can suggest ordering, and you can see how he or she thinks or reacts.  If you think or get worried that your partner will find it unusual, accepting to browse sex toy sites together shows that he or she also has fetish fantasies.

  1. No surprise attack

It’s important to note that raising the subject unannounced can result in a big fight. Your goal is to improve your relationship but not to break it, therefore, broach the subject when you’re calm and have free time together. If you introduce the topic when your partner is in a hurry or stressed, you might get a bad response since you have shocked or interrupted them. Your intention is to open a door for the conversation.

  1. Jump right into the topic

You can use this method if you do not know how to start the conversation. For example, you can ask a question such as “Have you ever heard of people being tied up and blindfolded? I would like to try it.” From the reaction, you can tell if your spouse is willing to give it a try or not.

  1. Ask questions

BDSM lifestyleIf your sex life with your partner has followed a regular pattern for some time, introducing some new sex style that you learned on a fetish site can take a bit of courage. This can require you to do it when you are chilled out over a glass of wine, and in the mood for chatting. For instance, you can ask: When we are having sex, what do you enjoy most? Followed by: Would you like to try a new thing? You may find out that your partner has a desire for something different. Or you can discover that you share similar fetish fantasies with your partner.

  1. Start with simple fetish gear

To have a good time during sex, you can start off with simple tools then work your way up to those that exceed the regular sex. Do not alert your partner that you have fetish fantasies yet, unless you’re ready for a surprise look. Take your time and tease him or her with noticeable items and keenly watch the response. If you’re a beginner, numerous fetish sites can help you find some of the most effective fetish outfits that you can use.

  1. Demonstrate acts of love

If you get home in the evening from work, snap at your spouse, and lock yourself in a room without asking how his or her day was, then you set a terrible communication mood. Thus, when you’re all horny and ready to bring in your sexual fantasies, it’s more likely your partner will be less willing to take part. However, if you get home give your spouse a big kiss, help prepare dinner, and listen as he or she talk about how the day was, you have already set up intimacy by showing the small acts of love. Apart from being happy, your partner will be in a giving mood and ready to listen and maybe will accept to explore your fantasies together.

The Bottom line

Sharing your fetish fantasies with your partner is a persuasive and a positive experience that can help both of you to stay sexually connected in various ways. Opening up confidently and calmly to your partner, and getting comfortable to get what you want, can be a great way of stepping out of your comfort zone and routine sex. Your spouse can feel unique and special to share your sexual desires, and can also be an opportunity for compassion, honesty, openness, and supporting one another, thus, reducing any chances of shock and rejection when sharing fantasies. If you’re a single guy or lady looking to get involved with swingers, dating sites might be the right place for you. So start small and work your way to the top and follow any of the above tips.