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Pain+Pleasure=BDSM? More about BDSM You May Not Know

What is BDSM?BDSM is the new sex god act in town and you cannot think of it without the movie “50 Shades of Grey” popping up your mind. BDSM stands for Bondage Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM).To many people, BDSM is perverted and dehumanizing but those who have actually tried it describe it as the most fulfilling and loving form of intimacy. People who love sexual fetishes are those who are most likely to engage in BDSM dating. They would flood BDSM sites in an effort to learn the best BDSM tips and how best to get intimate with their partners.

The origin of BDSM can be traced to the ancient times. Some five hundred years ago, a strange disease had spread through Europe and a group of people walked along the streets beating their bodies with whips and chains as they sought redemption from God. They soon realized that there was pleasure in pain and suffering and that was the birth of fetish dating.

Sex has been exploited and it is no longer a sacred topic. Some have taken it overboard unleash their sexual demons. Many people have the desire to be tied and become someone’s slave but that is not what BDSM is all about. BDSM sex basically involves people going into a trance,letting loose and being a totally different person so as to attain maximum pleasure from sex.

BDSM in our everyday lives.

Millions of couples practice sadomasochism every day without even realizing it. Every time people have fights, insult each other but they still don’t walk out of those relationships because that is where they find pain, pleasure and suffering, that right there is BDSM 101.

Spanking, rough sex, anal sex, anal fingering, hair pulling, the use of a safe word, organism denial and organism control are other ways through which couples practice BDSM without even knowing it.

Practicing BDSM.

People should be careful before practicing BDSM. This is because BDSM sex is not something you can fumble your way through.It is an act that touches the soul, is quite addicting and can be pretty harmful to body organs.

It is important to discuss with your partner your likes and dislikes as well as your pain spots. The next step is to try out staff in anon-sexy way because bondage can sometimes induce panic. You cannot imagine what would go on in your mind when your foreskin is stapled to your thigh.Would you laugh of pleasure or wince at the thought of pain? One has to learn the art of scaring the living shit out of someone but in a sexy way.

Creating a pleasure house and adopting dominant and submissive roles require some changes in your normal life. The polka-dotted pajamas you wear on a normal basis would not work and you need to think of leather pieces with metallic studs.

Before you begin any BDSM sessions, the dominant partner should leave the room so as to allow the submissive to ‘get into character’ and prepare himself/herself for action. Some fetish sites call this decompressing. It is very important to always remember the safe word as this notifies the dominant that submissive cannot take the pain anymore. Since most of the time the submissive is gagged, there should be a hand signal for a safety word as well. The dominant needs to trust that the submissive will use their safe word to avoid panic setting in.

Historical and Scientific Relevance of BDSM.

Rome and Persia believed that a man could sacrifice himself to save his Country. In ancient Greece, the Spartan warriors were whipped every year, all day long in respect of the goddess Artemis while the crowd cheered them on to bear the pain with dignity.

Practicing BDSM.In the history of the Saints, St. Rosa run through a garden, letting the thorns tear her skin. St. Domingo Loricatus whipped himself every night before sleeping. They all said that pain once mastered could lead to religious ecstasy.

Research findings reveal that BDSM practitioners appear to be less troubled than the general population. They are more extroverted, more open to new experiences, and more conscientious than other normal people are. They are also less neurotic, a personality trait characterized by anxiety. BDSM aficionados also scored lower than the general public on rejection and sensitivity. People practicing BDSM also reported higher levels of well-being than people who weren’t practicing it. They also reported more secure feelings of attachment in their relationships and were found to have better mental health.

Approaching BDMS the right way.

Things can quickly get out of hand in BDMS relationships. The red flags include things moving too quickly for your comfort, being pressured to do things you are not sure of, inappropriate attitudes, uncomfortable comments or questions, lack of communication, ignoring the safe word or signal. These are signs that your partner does not respect your boundaries and your body. Equality in BDSM relationships should be maintained. This is because both partners are equal and that one person consensually agrees to submit in a way that is mutually beneficial to both of them. Submission is something that the submissive gives to the dominant and they have the right take it back and walk away anytime. If someone is domineering, make demands that are not agreed upon or treats the submissive in a way that makes them feel like they are less of a person,then they are against BDSM rules which call for mutual respect.

A lot of stigma is attached to sexual appetite and desires and as such many people tend to shun BDMS. However, BDSM is pretty normal and quite pleasurable if trust, honesty, and equality are maintained just like in any other relationship.Have you ever wonder why fear makes you love more. Why the painful past of your partner makes want to cling to them? Why the everyday fights with your partner makes you passionate and desire them than ever before? All these behaviors are human and are more tied to the fact that we all have the sadomasochism in us.

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