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How to be a submissive and still ask for what you want?

submissive in BDSMBDSM dating is a real buzz when you get it right. Because it involves power role play, BDSM sex allows people to get deeper into their psyche and take on the role that they feel makes them most comfortable. Some people like to be dominant and take control of the sexual role-play, while others prefer to be submissive and therefore dominated by the other person. It is interesting to note that lots of high achieving people such as managers and CEO’s enjoy being dominated from time to time, so get great pleasure in playing the submissive.

For the submissive there are as many tricks to be learned as there are for the dominant. While the dominant has to learn the control element and how to safely perform all the various positions safely, being a submissive is not all about blindly following their lead.

As a submissive, you still have to know how to enforce your boundaries so that you always remain within your comfort one. Since all people have different desires and fantasies, sometimes even really experienced dominants can do something that crosses boundaries and cause the submissive to become uncomfortable.

The good news is that there are a few really handy tips that you can use to make sure that everything stays within your boundaries, without you having to give up your role as a submissive. Here are our tips on how to be a submissive and still be able to ask for what you want.

Where to find a BDSM partner?

There are loads of fantastic BDSM dating sites with millions of people, who are all looking for a BDSM hookup.

Before you do anything, talk everything through

Lots of people, especially submissive, think that somehow it dampens the feeling to talk things through before you get started. Though there is a certain degree of truth about this, it is far better to make sure you both know what is acceptable and what is not before you begin. This stage is particularly important for submissives, as they are the ones who give up control, and so are taking the bigger risk.

Anyone planning to engage in BDSM should go through the things that they would like to do and the things they don’t. This could be anything from the need for condoms to how long the dominant can choke the submissive. Another important thing is that you must establish safe words or body movements that will signal the dominant to immediately stop what they are doing. Without these, a serious accident or worse could happen, so it is vital to make sure you talk about this and know what these safe words are.

An easy way to have this conversation is to start with the things that you don’t want before you talk about the things you do. Talking about your fantasies will lead in nicely to you both getting into the mood for what comes next.

If in the future, as your relationship develops, you decide you want to do more, then this is another time you need to sit down and redefine your boundaries with a talk.

During BDSM

Once you get started, the important thing as a submissive is to be able to let the dominant take full control. If you are new to BSDM dating, then it might take you some time to learn to fully give up control. During what some people call the ‘new submissives freshman stage’, it is still likely that they will need to guide the dominant in some way so that they can feel comfortable. Fear of letting go also causes many new submissives to make body movements that are part of trying to resist the dominant’s control.  This is completely normal and will be overcome in time, provided the dominant stays within the agreed boundaries, of course.

Remember your safe words!

If the submissive feels ever feels that the dominant is about to go too far, then it is time to use the safe words. These can be any one word or word combination that triggers a warning to the dominant. Some BDSM practitioners use only one safe word, which when said, usually means that the dominant must completely stop what they were doing. Other practitioners use a whole set of different words that are used as guidance for a much wider set of actions.

Possible uses of safe words:

  • Completely stop everything
  • Stop what you are doing and do something else
  • Commands like harder/stronger/faster/slower
  • I need a 5-minute break
  • That hurts
  • I need to move

Take your time to build into it

submissive manThere are loads of reasons why you will be better off taking your time to build into your BDSM role. You might be completely new to being a submissive, might not feel completely comfortable with new areas of BDSM you are about to explore, or even are still not fully trusting of your dominant. Whatever your reason, the best single bit of advice anyone can give you is to take things slowly.

Don’t jump in at the deep end and just hope for the best. All aspects of BDSM can be built up in stages and don’t require you to go in at full speed. If you are interested in being tied up then start by just tying up one arm or the legs. Going slowly is particularly important when it comes to things like throttling and whipping, for example, as these can cause serious damage and even result in death if taken too far.

Build into things slowly, and to all you submissives, remember to use your safe words if you ever feel you need to!

Trust is king

The most important thing about being a submissive is that you must completely trust your dominant. Trust in BDSM is usually something that has to be built over time, which is why BDSM with a person really does get better over time. With complete trust, a submissive can completely let go and be able to fully enjoy being dominated.

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Here’s Why You Should Try Out Bondage Today

Woman in BDSMBe honest, have you ever fantasized about being tied up? If your answer is yes, then you are part of the estimated 60% of males and 45% of females in the U.S who have. Bondage has for decades, been one of the highest ranking sexual fantasies, along with happy ending massages and threesomes.

Nowadays, bondage is a frequent part of BDSM dating and is becoming more practiced than ever before. Media is fueling the rapid spread of bandage. Originally causing uproar in the film Basic Instinct, the more recent Nymphomaniac actually caused bondage rates to saw, showing that these movies have only served to spread the appeal of bondage to a much wider audience.

But why is bondage so popular even when most people don’t want to admit to engaging in it? The simple answer is because it really is so exciting! Around 90% of people who try bondage once do it again within the next 6 months, which is certain proof that it really adds often much needed spice to the bedroom.

Here are 5 great reasons why you should try out bondage:

  1. Excitement

When it comes to great sex, excitement is truly the name of the game. We all know how great it feels the very first time we slept with someone and how that part fades the more we slept with them. This is a natural process which is the same with everything from eating too much of the same food to spending too much hanging out with a friend. The more you do something, the less it is going to excite you.

Whether you are in a long term monogamous relationship or are losing the excitement when it comes to hookup dating, bondage is a great way to throw some excitement into the mix and reignite the thrill of sex.

  1. Trust

Tying someone up or being tied up is one of the best ways to reaffirm trust in a relationship. Though you won’t discover, until you actually try out activities like bondage or swingers dating, trust itself is actually a powerful aphrodisiac that can heighten the sexual experience dramatically.

Bondage requires a huge amount of trust because once tied up,a person will be completely at the mercy of the person who tied them up. Though the pleasure element does partially reside in not knowing what they will do to you, the only way you can truly relax and enjoy the fun is if you know that the person who is dominating you will not go too far and will stop at the slightest sign that you are unhappy.

  1. Heightens your senses

One of the best parts of bondage is that for the person who is tied up, it multiplies the sensitivity you feel to what is being done to you. Our brains only have so much power, so as we do more things with our body, the attention we pay to certain sensitivities diminishes as others increase. For an example of this, you only need to consider how when a part of your body is suffering from severe pain it drowns out smaller pains or itches that you might have on other parts of your body.

Being tied up focuses your attention on your body’s sensitivity because the need to control your body becomes unimportant. A really effective way to heighten the senses even further during bondage is to blindfold the person who has been tied up. When we lose one of our senses the others compensate for this loss, so by removing sight, the mind focuses its attention on sounds and the feelings on the skin. Blindfolding someone tests the trust element also, leading to extremely high levels of excitement and arousal.

So what are you waiting for? It’s time to tie up and blindfold your partner.

  1. Let you be dominated or the dominator

 bondage BDSMA key part of BSDM dating is the power play that underpins all sex. The control and application of power can make all the difference between lousy and great sex. BDSM practitioners all have one thing in common; they are obsessed with power in sex, and manipulating it in more testing ways to heighten the enormous buzz they get from it.

Bondage is the gateway to BDSM sex as it is easy to practice and exciting to most people. When compared to spanking, for example, something which most people don’t like, the gentle power of bondage as the reason for its mass appeal becomes apparent.

The sexual excitement when it comes to the dominant and submissive in bondage is really quite different. The dominant who does the tying up will feel a mastery of the situation and excitement in knowing that he or she is in control to act and is able out their fantasies. The submissive will feel an excitement arising from the danger aspect of not knowing what comes next and being totally under the control of the other. Both are equally great feelings but can be very different. This is why when it comes to bondage, most people like to take turns being the dominator and the dominated.

  1. Letting go

The reason that all of us have fantasies is that there are so many things that we can’t do in life. We fantasize about all kinds of different things, from being rich, traveling the world, being a superhero to being tied up and dominated by a good looking stranger. Sex is just one area of fantasy, but obviously an important one. The problem is that because of the stigmas that are attached to many types of sexual fantasy, we all feel like they are too dark and seedy for us to try out.

Trying out bondage at all is a huge act of defiance to conservative values that have become attached to sex, but you know what, it really feels great to do!  So don’t let misguided and old fashioned views keep you from having all the fun you deserve, so grab a trusted partner and try out bondage today!

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How to Get Your Partner into BDSM?

BDSM lifestyleIf you find that you have urges to either dominate or be dominated by your partner in the bedroom then there are plenty of things you can do to make them aware of this and even get them to join in.

Since the release of the movie 50 Shades of Grey, the amount of people practicing BDSM has skyrocketed. The image of old married men being spanked by some leather clad dominatrix put many people off and kept it a relatively unexplored part of people’s sex lives. The movie helped to remove this unappealing image and unmask BDSM for what it really is, a healthy way to act out power role-plays in a way that is exciting and safe.

Getting into BDSM can be a little nerve-racking, partly because of the stigma attached and partly because of an understandable nervousness. If you are someone who has been in a relationship a number of years, then letting your partner know that you are interested in BDSM is scary enough, but actually getting them to act it out is far more difficult.

How to begin

If you have decided that you want to start exploring BDSM, then here is how to get your partner involved.

Firstly, you need to pluck up the courage to actually tell your partner that you want to try out BDSM. This will certainly be a nerve racking thing, but there are definitely ways to do this to make it much less of a big deal than it needs to be.

Gradually working BDSM into your sex life is probably the safest bet for most relationships. It can begin with something simple, like getting your partner to assume either a dominant or submissive role during some regular sex act. This could be getting them to spank you or you spanking them. You can then build on these roles over time to see how your partner responds. It might be that they just go with the flow, but more than likely you will end up having to talk about the new part of your sex life at some point as you get deeper into it.

Alternately, you can just sit them down and talk about your feelings and desires to find out whether this is something they are happy with.  The direct approach is a little riskier but ensures that you won’t put them in a position that they feel uncomfortable during sex. It also reinforced the trust in your relationship, which is always a good thing.

Here is a list of things to keep in mind when approaching your partner to talk about BDSM:

Trying to keep it sounding as relaxed as possible, you need to let your partner know you need to talk (don’t make it sound like you are going to break up or anything).

Before you sit down, make sure you have thought through what you want to say.

Don’t put it off as you may well not end up ever doing it.

When you start talking, don’t talk too fast and too much without ever letting them get involved in the conversation.

Go step by step through your thoughts and feelings explaining as much as you can.

Always make sure your partner understands. Ask them to ask if they don’t.

Make sure you emphasize the positives of BDSM for your relationship. If they are honest, they will also recognize that your sex life is less exciting than it used to be.

Be sure to recognize that your partner might need time to get used to the idea. If you feel that they need more information then give them some resources to look at that help them better understand your BDSM desires.

If they agree, don’t expect that they are going to jump in at the deep end and just do whatever you want straight away. You need to maintain realistic expectations and understand that they might not be willing to do everything you want from them.

Okay, so they are in. What’s next?

BDSM sexYou will already know if you are dominant or submissive. With any luck, your partner will be the opposite because if he or she is not then you could really have a difficult situation on your hands. Most heterosexual males will have a tendency to be dominant as this is the roles that most societies still assign to their gender. However, increasingly men are seeking a submissive role in rejection of this. Talking with your partner will allow you to really see what he or she is comfortable with, though if you find that you are both dominant, for example, unless you are both willing to rotate roles in order to please the other,your journey into BDSM might already be over before it has begun.

Best ways to start BDSM

After you have a good understanding of your roles, you are ready to start your journey into BDSM. The key really is taking things slow and building them up over time. Start with some mild activities such as spanking and tying them up, and then go from there. The more hardcore BDSM activities are definitely not for the fainthearted and so need to be built up to. These need to be performed safely and carefully, so require you to become comfortable in BDSM before you even attempt to perform them.

Very important is that the dominant person makes sure that they know exactly what they are doing, and at all times, this person makes sure that they do not overstep the boundaries set out by the submissive person. Finally, for more dangerous BDSM activities, you must have a safety word with which the submissive person can instantly stop the proceedings. A safety word will prevent the chance that the dominant oversteps his or her boundaries, or risks causing that person any real injury without realizing it.

Never forget that provided BDSM is undertaken safely, it is an excellent way to bring newfound fun and excitement to your sex life.

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How to Avoid Junk Messages in BDSM Dating Sites?

On the BDSM dating sites, it is just too common for the submissive woman to be flooded with spam messages that are coming no spamfrom crazy men.  In case you are new to this kind of stuff, it may take some time to get used to this idea.  To help you cope up with this kind of scenario, here are some of our essential tips.

Create Mail Filters

Good dating sites contain mail or message filters.  This will instantly dispose the junk messages straight to the bulk folder.  Remember to mention your mail filter in your profile, so those who are planning to send you a junk message will be discouraged.  It will also let them know if they are the perfect guy based on your criteria.

Post a Non-Provocative Image

Girls who have a provocative profile photo in the BDSM dating Sites are commonly flooded with undesirable messages compared to those with casual or friendly dating photo.  You may also set your picture to ‘friend only’ setting so other people who do not belong in your network will be unable to access them.  Refrain from posting the picture of models unless of course, it is you.

Let Them Earn your Trust

The real DOM are particularly patient.  They are also mainly concerned and sensitive over their partners.  They are not typically in a hurry to be addressed by the submissive to own them or punish them.  They are very much aware that you are willing to put yourself into that position; however, you will need to arrive at that situation gradually.

Be Skeptical

BDSM dating safetyMost of the fraud doms that you will find in the fetish dating sites are bullies, and they are only hiding behind the BDSM profile.  Even a person who looks super nice can act very rude when indoors.  One of the most effective types of defense against this type of person would be to ask a lot of questions.  You may ask about their past relationship, the reasons for the success or the failure of their romantic life, their friends or the other girls that they are currently dating.  You may also ask them about their idea of a perfect relationship to make sure that they are your perfect match.

Avoid Video Call

You should also avoid initiating a video call in the dating sites until you finally meet them in person.  There are some stories stating that most of the submissive woman who initiated said that the other party commonly experienced a video problem.  Make sure that you will protect your privacy until such time that you already trust them.

Finally, if you really want to find a genuine doms, you need to find them and reach out to them.  Read their BDSM dating profile carefully and if you think that they are a perfect fit for you, send them a message.  Never take it personally if the person did not respond to your message.

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No Drugs Before BDSM Sex

Are you among the persons that are into BDSM sex? That’s great, because it means that you are living your life the way you no drugwant, experimenting and enjoying your sexuality. But, BDSM involves a lot of techniques and practices, some being more innocent, while others can get a bit harsher. Of course, this depends very much on your preferences and on what you are willing to do, together with your partner. There is a general rule concerning not to do the things that are not enjoyable for you, because BDSM means the exploration of your desires and fantasies, and not having horrible experiences. Because of this, and because BDSM can get harsher tendencies, partners should not consume drugs before having BDSM sex. There are many reasons that support this aspect.

First of all, drug consumption will deteriorate your perception of reality, also changing the way you feel things as well. This means that you will no longer be so well rooted to reality, which makes you more susceptible to getting involved in undesirable situations, to get hurt, or to experience various traumas. There are no advantages to consuming drugs before having sex, because it will not enhance your experience, leading to negative things in every single case. People tend to get crazy and aggressive, due to drugs, during BDSM sexual intercourse, and you can get hurt and end up suffering. No matter what you enjoy from the large spectrum of possibilities offered by BDSM, the purpose is not getting tortured or made to endure things that produce physical discomfort or pain. Do not put yourself, and your partner, in danger, by consuming drugs before sex. Also, if you notice that your partner does take drugs in spite of your requests of not doing so, just walk away without engaging into a sexual intercourse. You better loose a night of love than risking your safety and wellbeing.

Unfortunately, there were many cases in which people got hurt due to drug consumption prior to enjoying BDSM sex. There is a general belief that drugs can intensify your experience, but it is just a Russian roulette that can bring you the worse things that can happen, without you suspecting them. The behavior of a person after taking drugs is very unpredictable. That person can be very happy and in a good mood, and in the next second something happens inside his or her mind, turning that person into an animal that cares less about your comfort and safety. Is sex worth exposing yourself to such dangers? No, it is not, because if a partner is not right for you, if he or she does not respect your preferences and desires, it means that this person does not respect you at all. So, it is best to let him or her go and find another partner, who will be on the same wavelength with you.

Whatever happens, keep in mind that BDSM sex exists for your enjoyment, not for endangering you in any way possible. Never subject yourself to any risk, no matter how much you like being with that particular person, by keeping in mind that your safety is the most important thing.

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BDSM & Fetish: The Differences and The Similarities

BDSM dating and fetish dating may often be confused. It is true that there are things that tie the two together, although there BDSMare even more differences that separate them. In order to know in what category you fall or in what you may be interested in, you need to know what BDSM and fetishism are. If you want to explore your sexuality in the best way possible, finding out new realms you would like to try, it is recommended to know these things upfront, to avoid situations you may not like.

First of all, you should know that BDSM involves bondage in the sexual act, with the acceptance of both partners, of course, dominance, submission, discipline, and sadomasochism. The goal for a BDSM hookup is for both partners to enjoy these things, according to their preferences. So if you are not attracted to doing any of these, then you are not into BDSM dating. If we are to talk about fetishism, it is possible for the conversation never to end. There have been many books written on the subject, and yet the issue is not covered completely. Why? Because people have so many things that turn them on, things that are entirely different from one person to another. These things can fall under the cover of BDSM or not.

fetish datingLet us take a look at some examples, to help you clear your mind. For instance, a person may enjoy being tied up or tying someone up when having sex. This is a fetish, but it falls under the incidence of BDSM. Still, the person that enjoys this may not enjoy anything else from this sphere, so he or she will not be into BDSM dating. Also, spanking is considered to be a fetish that can also be found as a practice in BDSM, but again, this is only a preference, something that turns that person on, without him or her to be a part of the BDSM community. So, as you can see, there are fetishes that can be found as practices in BSDM, this may lead people to confusion.

Now, taking fetishes, there are so many out there that you will be amazed. Some people have fetishes that don’t even come near the things previously presented. The kinks, practices, tastes and turn-ons are extremely various, and most of them have nothing to do with BDSM. You just found out what the characteristics of BDSM are, so you will now manage to make the difference between BDSM dating and fetish dating. Decide whether you are into a BDSM hookup or if you have a certain fetish that turns you on. There are situations in which the two interlock, but in most cases BDSM and fetishism have nothing to do one with the other. So, in the end, there is one question for you. What manages to set the trigger and turn you on? Would you like to be dominated, or the ankles of a woman look incredibly sexy for you? Only you know the secret.

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Your Dating Guide for Online Fetish Hookup

When you are into fetish sex dating, it is important to make sure that you know how to cope with the world of BDSM and to fetish sexalso enjoy the fetish dating. If you are a woman, and you are a submissive, you will see that you are going to be sent tons of crazy messages from men. You want to make sure that you know what to do and what to expect when you are on a fetish dating site.

  1. Set Up Mail Filters On the Fetish Dating Site!

When you are on a site for fetish dating, you want to make sure that you are able to find the right tools to help you filter out the spammers and be able to find the right people. That means that you want to use mail filters if they are available so that you are going to be able to find the suitors that match all of your requirements rather than those who do not.

  1. Post a Very Non Provocative Pic

When you are on a dating site, you want to make sure that you are able to have a picture that is there that is going to show who you are, and that is not going to be to slutty. When there are women who have slutty photos, they will always have more people who are wanting to hook up with them sooner rather than later, and that means that you are not posting something that is going to attract the wrong kind of person on a fetish hookup site.

  1. Make Sure, You Fill Out Your Profile Completely

fetish sex datingEveryone is there to meet other people, but it is very important when you are wanting to describe the kind of dating that you are there to do that you describe who you are and what you are looking for. You want to make sure that you are able to say why you are there, what you are looking for and what your best relationship would be like.

  1. Know Your Terminology

Although it can seem a bit overwhelming, it is important to make sure that you know your terms so that you are going to be able to talk the part and you will be able to find the person that you are looking for. Make sure as well that you are ready to deal with all of the things that are a part of fetish dating and you will be able to know that you are going to meet the right person. Often times there are too many people who are out there who are all willing and able to teach this new kind of fetish hookup to you, but you may end up meeting the wrong kind of guy.

When you are seeking to find the right person, and you are new to fetish dating, it is very important to make sure that you find the right person.

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How to Turn BDSM Dating into BDSM Sex?

When you realize that you fit extremely well in the BDSM community, because you find attractive practices that others may BDSM Womenconsider unusual, it may be hard to find a partner that can accept your sexual preferences. The only chance to find people that have the same sexual orientation as yours is to join a dating site. You can know for sure that the people that can be found here are members of the same community or, in the worst case scenario, they are curious persons that wish to spice up their private life. Still, from BDSM dating to BDSM sex, there are some steps you need to respect. You cannot assume that everyone going for dating is looking for sex.

Just like in any other case, people have preferences when it comes to their partner or the experiences they are willing to try in the bedroom. So even if they are looking for BSDM hookup, it is not a rule that they will accept you no matter what. You will need to be respectful and to listen to your potential partner. Not all people, even in the BDSM community, are willing to accept sex with someone they don’t know very easy. Even when it comes to your person, you should be very careful when picking your intimate partner, being a bit weary if someone else is trying to get you in the sack too quickly. It is a matter of precaution and respect towards you. After all, BDSM sex dating should be pleasant and safe, so it is always best not to rush into it.

BDSM Sex DatingSo, how can you turn BDSM dating into a sexual adventure? It is best to try to meet the person a little in the beginning. Try to share a bit about yourselves to one another. Slowly, try learning about what each of you prefers and what would like experimenting. And yes, this also makes reference to your intimate preferences. You see, when it comes to BDSM, there are so many things out there, but that doesn’t mean that a person will appreciate anything connected to BDSM. There are persons that may like something things and dislike others. So if you want for someone to accept a sexual adventure with you, you may want to make sure that they have nothing against your preferences. Also, it is not nice to make someone do what they don’t appreciate. You wouldn’t like either if something like this would happen to you.

As you can see, even if you are into BDSM dating, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t any boundaries to respect. After all, we are all different and have different preferences. So it is always thoughtful of you to be sensitive about what your partner likes or dislikes. You should not be selfish and think only about your pleasure, because when it comes to sex, it needs two to get involved in it. Thus, for a pleasant experience, both partners should be receptive to one another. And this can only happen if you get to know each other a little, before getting to the sex part.

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How to Have a Healthy and Safe BDSM Experience

For the uninitiated, the term BDSM involves the sexual practice of bondage and discipline or domination and submission, safe BDSM sexsadism, and masochism.  Over time BDSM dating or hookup have gotten a nasty rap, but the fundamental principles underlying it all can provide a feeling of freedom that you never imagined, and if you continue to practice it long enough, it can become a massive turn on.  So, here are some suggestions on how to have an enjoyable and safe BDSM hookup:

Play

The word “play” is frequently used with the term BDSM because this indicates that these undertakings are to be done with pleasure as the primary motivation and that the people who take part in such activities should be enjoying the experience.

Safe Word

If you are participating in fetish dating, it is essential to have a safe word ready to use if the situation calls for it.  If this word is spoken, all activity comes to a halt.  When uttered during a BDSM hookup, this word will be understood as an indication to end the BDSM activity.  It is absolutely a must to always obey the safe word.

Consent and Communication

dangerous BDSMAll types of play must be consensual so that both players can enjoy the activity and learn to trust their partner.  Also, it is vital that you communicate to your partner what your likes and dislikes are, and what your fantasies are.  We all know that the fact of the matter is that communication is essential in any sexual relationship because it allows both partners to tell the other how best to please and satisfy them.

Safe

Keeping your BDSM hookup safe means understanding that you will not injure your partner nor will they harm you.  Also, be aware that during BDSM sex, individuals sometimes go into a trance-like state called flying.  For some, this is almost a mystical experience which is why BDSM is sometimes called Sexual Magic.  It is necessary for partners to check-in with each other from time to time during BDSM sex to make sure the goings-on remains safe.

Sane

When it comes to BDSM dating both partners should have a good understanding of each other and their various likes and dislikes.  Insane is when one partner goes too far and says or does something which damages the other emotionally or even psychologically.  While it may indeed all be played, there are limits for each individual, and their partner must respect them, or some serious harm can be done.

In cases of fetish dating, if one or both partners have never done these activities before, but you both agree you want to do a little sexual exploring, that’s perfectly fine.  The key is to keep an open mind regarding sexuality, which is not limited to just what is necessary in order to complete the act.

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Make Sure You Are Safe While BDSM Sex Dating

50 Shades of Grey has created a lot of interest among modern world people for BDSM dating. However, everything that is BDSM sexdepicted in that movie is not actually fetish dating. That’s mainly because people who are interested in BDSM hookup should pay special attention towards their safety. Here are some steps that you can keep in your mind in order to ensure maximum safety during BDSM sex.

  • Make sure both of you are on board – This fact is obvious, but many people skip it die to a variety of reasons. Communication plays a key role behind any sexual practice and it is applicable to BDSM as well. Therefore, you need to make sure that your partner is okay with BDSM before you come home with a leash or collar. Otherwise, both of you will never pay enough attention towards safety measures.
  • Learn to say “No” – BDSM is not all about accepting what your partner asks you to do. You need to say “No’, especially if it is associated with a risk. Rejecting something does not make you a bad person. In fact, you will be taking necessary measures to take care of yourself. However, you need to convince this fact to your partner when you say no. In other words, you should never make your partner feel bad about creating boundaries.
  • Physical safety – If you are new to BDSM dating, you need to pay special attention towards physical safety. For example, if your partner tries to do breast bondage, but you don’t have an idea about it, you might end up hurting yourself. If you don’t know about a specific BDSM practice, you can ask about it from your partner and ensure your physical safety during and after the practice.
  • safe BDSM sexSet up limits – As you already know, there should be a limit for everything that we do. When it comes to BDSM dating, we can define two different types of limits as soft limits and hard limits. A soft limit can simply be defined as a limit that is not set in stone. Therefore, soft limits are flexible and you will be able to change it along with the experience. On the other hand, hard limits refer to the things that you should never do. It is better to come to an agreement with your partner about these limits before you get into BDSM hookup in order to ensure safety.
  • Paddling, flogging and spanking – People who are into BDSM dating prefer to try these things. However, if you are trying to experiment with flogging, you need to stay away from cheap floggers that are made out of deerskin. They can create a painful experience and you would not like it. It is recommended to spank upper back, thighs and back in order to stay away from injuries. However, you should not spank joints, belly, kidneys, face or neck under any circumstance as they can get damaged easily.